Marriage may not always be the wedded bliss we dreamed of as we walked down the aisle all those years ago. At times, the institution can be exhausting, especially when it comes to communication issues between yourself and your spouse. It’s normal to have your ups and downs after you say “I do,” and most of the time, an argument or two are inevitable and won’t lead to a divorce.
The goal to try and have a harmonious union is to minimize the lows, or things are bound to get much worse, and hitting rock bottom could be an option. A breakdown of communication can often leave both of you feeling hurt and unheard, but there are some tips like couple therapy or an enhanced sex relationship that can help you out of your rut.
The Honeymoon Phase
When you first find your life partner, it will feel like rainbows and unicorns, but it won’t last forever. You may be inundated with Cupid’s arrows and want to run and buy the perfect pair of stud earrings or a diamond ring. Experts will tell you to enjoy these little moments because they won’t always last. Many are well aware that you can’t live in the love bubble forever, and sooner or later, problems are going to arise. While most don’t think you need to prep for a relationship apocalypse, it’s good to take off the rose-colored glasses and be aware at times. It may get hard, and a counselor may be needed. But going through some ups and downs is good for you since quality relationships can’t live on butterflies alone.
The Space Between
When going through hardships, some couples may find that they take two steps forwards and one back, but any progress is still good. When you and your partner are going through emotions, it can often feel like there’s a vast space between you and getting back to an emotional and physical connection.
Your relationship can often be like a paradox where you feel close and intimate at times, but at other moments, there may be a disconnect. There may be times when you discuss a situation calmly and then when an explosive fight breaks out. The goal for most couples is to be on the same page when it comes to life choices. The best thing you can do to improve the relationship is to ask for help. Try Googling “gay marriage counseling,” “sex marriage,” or “premarital counseling” for some good counselors in your area.
It’s Time for a Reality Check.
While the honeymoon phase literally and figuratively may be over now, little annoyances will start to creep up on you. Both of you could easily be getting bored with your day in and day out routine. But it’s important to know that the early days’ sparks are still there; you just have to find new ways to enjoy them.
This may be the first time either one of you realizes that you’re married, for real. While we know it sounds silly, some couples don’t realize the gravity of the situation until after they say their vows. Not only have you officially meshed two lives into one, but you may also find some of your time has started to feel predictable. Basically, your relationship has now become a lot of work. The only way to get past the hump is, to be honest with one another.
It’s important that, whether you have a good moment or a bad moment, you’re open to compromise on issues. No matter how much you may have agreed in your dating life, you and your spouse are still two different people. Believe it or not, there is such a thing as fighting well, so you can both negotiate a battle. Making yourself aware of any differences is a good start at getting a handle on them before they spin out of control. The bottom line is the phase where you have to learn to embrace each other’s quirks is inevitable, so you might as well do it with grace.