Divorce Attorney Explains How Manipulating Your Spouse Can Make Your Relationship Better

June 10, 2022

An attorney is the only one who has tremendous experience in tackling disputed relationships, especially divorce lawyer Las Vegas. Since he always listens to various reasons behind quarrels, he can easily suggest ways to get out of this matter and take your relationship back to normal. Suggested strategies always work to achieve the best solutions for his clients.

Another crucial aspect of a divorce lawyer besides years of experience: He manipulates people’s minds in living with their spouses. Don’t consider the word “manipulate” negative, a renowned divorce lawyer J. Sexton proved this term in an article published in “Psychology Today”. The manipulation can be extremely positive and come with great things for improving marriage relationships.  

True Love is Updated: Not to Accept Your Partner for Who He is  

“Society teaches us that true love always accepts your spouse for who he is,” said Sexton. “Both partners react to each other; that is called relationship, where we also help each other too, becoming bet reflection of ourselves. “

We do not hesitate to criticize our partners if something we don’t like about them and also, we expect that he or they won’t do that again in the same situation in the future. We think our partners know that we don’t like something so he or she is not supposed to do that, regardless of whether your partner likes it or not.

However, Sexton has noticed in several studies and cases that there are fewer chances of meeting expectations to that extent. He came up with the fact and solution that it is wrong thoughts to change and empower your partner the way you want with criticism. However, he also added that this can work perfectly if you change your behavior and discuss things without criticism and try to praise those qualities before you tell your partner that you don’t like those.

Amplification in Discussion Can Help Achieve Your Aims

If you are bothered by some actions and behavior patterns of your spouse, never criticize them. It is better if you wait for something that he or she does or acts something different than what he or she used to be, once he or she does it, appreciate that part of the action and explain how good you feel about it. Remember, a few sentences your partners often say to you in private “I love it when you surprise me and unexpectedly do something, I feel overwhelmed and sexy, reminds me of that first wedding night.”

Sexton suggested overstating the appreciation, i.e., to praise it more than actual can be suitable for the condition. Come up with the meaningful behavior that you expect from your partner, inspirational change. You may well reward them with passionate sex.

It may have the effect of recalling the enthusiastic response and try to repeat the scenario. You have already gained the change you want in them. And, even if your spouse finds out about this trick, they are less likely to complain about it. After all, you are not cheating or pretending, nor selfish motives, but you want to strengthen your relationship to make you both feel happier. 

Warning Signs Indicate That You are Fearful About Your Relationship

People with apprehensive relationships are often fearful and cling to separation. They want to assure regularly that their relationship is normal and loved ones will stay with them. However, the fearful relationship is not healthy. Here’s how to determine whether you’re dating an anxious relationship and how can you feel more secure. 

What Causes a Nervous Relationship?

The frightened relationship type builds up early in adolescent age. These are the relationships you have with your parents or guardians and caregivers. In case, these relations fear you, the development of an anxious relationship in adulthood increases.  These examples will show which situations indicate anxious attachment type:

  • Lack of Consistency: When a parent’s actions fluctuate between loving and negligence, the child is often worried and unsure about needs. 
  • Extreme Parenting Styles: On the one hand, some parents control their child too strictly and do not allow age-appropriate independence. On the other hand, some do not care for their child and are not present in the child’s life. Both can favor an anxious relationship type, says Jessica January Behr, psychologist, and founder, and director of Behr Psychology.
  • Trauma or Grief: According to Saltz, the anxious relationship type can also be caused by experienced abuse or extremely stressful situations – chaotic divorce, violence, or extreme poverty.

Such events and interactions are stressful, so people with an anxious attachment type tend to feel more stressed and have a harder time in future relationships. A small 2011 study of girls between the ages of nine and 18 showed that participants with an anxious attachment type had higher levels of cortisol – a stress-regulating hormone – after waking up than those with a secure attachment type.

Signs of a Fearful Relationship Type

The signs of an anxiety style may change with time; from childhood to adulthood. An anxious relationship type in children can be identified by the following behaviors:

  • Extremely affectionate
  • Cries often
  • Cries when separated from parents
  • Scared

According to Behr, an adult with an anxious attachment type is more likely to have the following symptoms:

  • Unfounded fear of being abandoned and being rejected by an important caregiver
  • Attachment
  • Needs frequent confirmation
  • Longs for closeness and intimacy, but is still not entirely satisfied

An anxious relationship type can greatly affect a person’s relationship, regardless of the partner’s behavior. For example, the person concerned may constantly ask where their partner is, even if the partner does not give them any cause for concern, explains Angela Robinson. She is the clinical director of the North-Node Counseling Group.

How to Treat an Anxious Attachment Type?

With a lot of effort, you can move into a healthier attachment type over time, but you can never completely change it. In a 2019 study, researchers examined how the type of relationship changes between the ages of 13 and 72. It was found that the symptoms of the anxious attachment type often decreased with age, especially in middle-aged and older test subjects.

A psychotherapist can help you identify your relationship type, identify possible causes from your childhood, and find ways in which you can develop in a healthy way. The duration and frequency of therapy vary widely from person to person, but twelve to 16 weekly sessions can certainly help to improve the situation.

You don’t have to work on it alone, either. If you are in a relationship and you feel that your anxious relationship type is causing problems such as suspicion, paranoia, and insecurity, you may want to consider doing couples therapy with your partner. Couples can work independently as well as together in therapy on problems that are caused by an anxious attachment type. To do this, they should communicate fears and frustrations and be patient while the partner works to address their anxiety, says Behr.

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